I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
i just wanna soil my oats bro
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
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