Your face is a jimmy john
dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
