I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
Randomize
