I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
Randomize
