dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize