What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
there was a trapeze. enough said
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
Randomize
