I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
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I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
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And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
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