when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
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