did you get engaged???
no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
