if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
i think i have herpe
just one?
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
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