that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
It's not a walk of shame if you run
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Randomize
