Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
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