My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
Randomize
