Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
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Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
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