I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
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