You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
