Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize