ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Randomize
