So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
Randomize
