I hate all girls vehemently.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
