that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
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