i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
