does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
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