You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
Randomize
