I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
Randomize
