Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
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