Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
