I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Randomize
