no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
you win again, gameday.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
