Me too!
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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