You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
Randomize
