Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
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