babies were throwing up all over the place
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
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