HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Randomize
