Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
Randomize
