When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
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