New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
Randomize
