It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
He uses pillows to masturbate.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
