At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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