Just fell off a train. Bad.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Randomize
