If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Randomize
