this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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