people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
