Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
