ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
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