also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
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