Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
Randomize
