you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize