come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
Randomize
