so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize