Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
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