I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
Randomize
