i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
Randomize
