Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
