Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
I just found a bag of teeth...
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
Randomize
