Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
