I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
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