How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
Randomize
