I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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