Well apparently he's into motor boating.
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize
