Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
