Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
