Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
Porn is love you can see.
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Randomize
