she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
