How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
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