You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
Randomize
