but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
Randomize
