I think I am morally bankrupt
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you will always have a special place in my vag
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
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