It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
Randomize
