Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Randomize
